The pandemic brought dads closer to their kids. Have these relationships endured?
Many fathers in the United States said they felt closer to their children—spending more time and better-quality time with them—during the coronavirus pandemic than they did before the pandemic began in early 2020. Now, as we approach Father’s Day a little more than a year after the World Health Organization declared the end of the pandemic, we wanted to take a moment to reflect on these relationships.
Making Caring Common explored pandemic era father-child relationships in our June 2020 report, How the Pandemic is Strengthening Fathers' Relationships with Their Children. In a national survey we conducted from April to May 2020, 68% of fathers said they felt closer to their children since the beginning of the pandemic; 1 in 5 felt “much closer.” This increased closeness was true for dads across race, economic class, educational attainment, and political affiliation.
Our data also suggested that mothers have felt closer to their children during the pandemic, but research indicates that mothers already were closer to their children than fathers. Although gender-based expectations of parents have changed over the last 50 years and fathers have taken on more substantial caregiving roles, mothers still tend to devote more time to childcare.
In a second survey in June 2020, we again asked about family closeness. What we found was heartening. More than half of fathers we surveyed said that they felt a greater appreciation for their children since the beginning of the pandemic (57%); that they paid more attention to their children’s feelings (54%); and that their children were talking to them more often about “things that are more important to them” (52%). Our qualitative data also highlighted changes in how dads spend time with their kids. Fathers told us about sharing more of themselves with their children, playing with them more, and doing more activities with them, such as going for walks and having meals together. Dads also expressed a greater willingness to show vulnerability to their children and an appreciation for knowing them in deeper and more meaningful ways.
“...it’s not hard to see how the seismic shift in day-to-day family life, including stay-at-home orders and the rise of remote work, created opportunities for increased closeness. ”
While our data didn’t specifically explore why father-child relationships changed during the pandemic, it’s not hard to see how the seismic shift in day-to-day family life, including stay-at-home orders and the rise of remote work, created opportunities for increased closeness. Fathers’ pre-pandemic time with children may have been limited for many reasons, including higher levels of participation in the labor force than mothers and the assumption that childcare should be left to women. The pandemic also gave many dads a closer view of parenting and new insight into the disproportionate parenting burden often carried by mothers.
Have closer father-child relationships endured? Although we haven’t had an opportunity to generate new data, there’s anecdotal evidence that some dads’ relationships with their children were forever changed by the pandemic. Other dads have found themselves less engaged with their families as they returned to work outside the home.
Either way, these relationships are profoundly worthwhile. Research suggests that greater involvement from fathers can have many benefits for kids, including strengthening cognitive and emotional development and increasing the chances of academic and career success and life satisfaction. Close father-child relationships are certainly better for children than feeling abandoned by or worrying about being unloved by a father who is unavailable or emotionally remote. These relationships also can be profoundly gratifying for dads and are often at the heart of fathers’ healthy development.
While it is clearly more challenging for some fathers than for others, all dads have some capacity to commit to building and maintaining stronger relationships with their children in their post-pandemic lives. This can be as straightforward as scheduling activities in a family calendar. Fathers who introduced special activities or games with their children during the pandemic can continue these traditions, turning them into regular family rituals. Even if the timing, setting, or length of these activities must adapt, consistently making time for them can help establish lasting habits—and closer bonds.
Posted by Alison Cashin, director of communications
