Fostering Civil Discourse: How Adults Can Support Teens in Talking About Issues That Matter
How we talk about things matters. But in our polarized country, how can we express our opinion while leaving room for someone else’s viewpoint? How can we ensure that our discussions are rooted in reliable information and that we treat each other with dignity and respect while discussing contentious topics? How can we engage in productive conversations with those whose beliefs conflict with our own? And how can we help our children develop these critical skills?
This resource provides six tips for parents and family members to support teens in building and practicing skills that are fundamental to having productive conversations across different points of view. Review these tips before engaging in a challenging conversation with your teen, especially one in which you hold different or conflicting points of view on issues in the news or current events. We also encourage adults to read our Current Events Strategies for Parents and Teens, which has helpful tips, reflections, and resources to help guide these discussions.
Making Caring Common collaborated with Facing History & Ourselves and The Choose Kindness Project to create this resource.
Recommendations
Set yourself up for success. Be sure to set aside enough time for your conversation and preview any materials you want to review with your teen before you begin talking. Conversations about difficult topics can take time, especially if you or your child need time to reflect or take a break.
Work together to create guidelines for the conversation. Setting clear guidelines for a challenging conversation with your teen can not only help make space for a respectful, productive conversation, it can help your teen practice skills that are critical for engaging in future conversations with people from different backgrounds and who hold different points of view. Working with your teen to create these guidelines can help build their buy-in and help them stay engaged in the conversation.
Ask open-ended questions. Leading questions or questions that lead to specific conclusions can be counterproductive to talking across different points of view. Instead, ask open-ended questions, such as, What do you think about this text/topic? What are the most significant ideas in this text? What could a different perspective on this topic/text be? What assumptions do you think the author is making?
Encourage critical thinking and fact-checking. Encourage your teen to critically evaluate the sources of information that they use to form their opinions and to fact-check their assumptions before engaging in a discussion. This can help them develop a more nuanced understanding of the issue and avoid misinformation or propaganda.
Focus on common goals and shared values. Encourage your teen to identify common goals and shared values that you both have, even if you disagree on certain issues. This can help create a sense of common ground and make it easier to find areas of agreement or compromise.
Debrief and reflect. At the end of a discussion, take time to reflect with your teen on the experience of discussing the topic and any new insights you both gained from the conversation. Check in again after a few days to see if they have continued to process your talk.
Download the toolkit for more in-depth pointers for discussing current events issues with teens.
Last updated December 2023.
Overview
For: Parents and Caregivers
Grades: 6 - 12
Resource Type: Toolkit
